Welcome to HalfOff.com!
On this site, we're going to set you up for the hottest daily deals in town.
Not to mention our unmissable do's and dont's for this holiday season! *BIG SMILE*
- DO take the price tags off your gifts. Not doing this is likely to lead to a very bad start to the holidays. You will be getting looks before the dinner has even started.
- DO use your smartphone at appropriate moments. That simmering row over Donald Trump can be cut short by simply staring glazy eyed at your phone for just a couple of minutes.
- DO keep the box the gifts arrive in. This will mean you don't have to wrap your presents as they are technically already wrapped. Attach one of those sticky label things with lots of loud colors to the box and nobody will be any wiser.
- DO remember you have the right to return items within 30 days should there be a problem, for your quibble free refund. Quibble. I like that word.
- DO NOT forget that if you really want to annoy someone, get them a DVD. They are probably avid movie streamers and this is sure to infuriate them. If you feel bad for them, just remember they got you a five-pack of socks (50% cotton) last year.
- DO NOT forget to bring your capsule coffee maker to the family gathering. As soon as a row is beginning to brew, just say sharply 'capsule coffee anyone'? The entire family will then be completely distracted attempting to get the little capsule into the damn machine - leaving you to relax in peace.
- DO NOT forget to buy yourself something you really want. This will make up for the inevitable disappointment with that attempt at an apparel gift from your brother Marky.
- DO NOT commence any conversation after alcohol has been consumed with your family about Donal Trump. If you're English, do not commence any conversation after alcohol about Brexit. If you're Irish, you can continue to give out about the British as a result of Brexit.